无法让我的discord python bot存储婚姻信息

Question

    async def marry(ctx,member: discord.Member):
    
        await get_marriage()
        await open_marriage(member)
        await open_marriage(ctx.author)
    
        
        if member is None:
            await ctx.send("Please Mention a Member to marry!")
            return
        else:
      
          await ctx.send(f"{ctx.author.mention} **proposes to** {member.mention} **Do you accept??** "
                       f"\nRespond with [y(es)/n(o)]")
    
        def check(m):
            return m.author == member and m.channel == ctx.channel
    
        try:
            msg = await bot.wait_for('message', check=check, timeout=10)
    
            if msg.content.lower() in ['y', 'yes']:
                await ctx.send(f"Congratulations! {ctx.author.mention} and {member.mention} are now married to each other!")
                await update_marriage(member,f"{ctx.author.id}","marriage")
                await update_marriage(ctx.author,f"{member.id}","marriage")
            elif  msg.content.lower() in ['n', 'no']:
                await ctx.send(f"Unlucky, maybe another time! {ctx.author.mention}")
            else:
                await ctx.send("I did not understand that, aborting!")
        except asyncio.TimeoutError as e:
            print(e)
            await ctx.send("Looks like you waited too long.")
    
    
    async def open_marriage(user):
    
        users = await get_marriage()
    
        if str(user.id) in users:
               return False
        else:
            users[str(user.id)]["marriage"] = {}
            users[str(user.id)]["marriage"] = "single"
    
        with open("marriage.json","w") as f:
            json.dump(users,f)
        return True
    
    async def get_marriage():
        with open("marriage.json","r") as f:
            users = json.load(f)
            return users
    
    async def update_marriage(user,change = "", mode= "marriage"):
        users = await get_marriage()
    
        users[str(user.id)][mode] += change
    
        with open("marriage.json","w") as f:
            json.dump(users,f)
    
        mal = [users[str(user.id)]["marriage"]]
        return mal

i have tried everything i can is there an easier way to update from a string saying "single" to like a id or mention like "@trab" and it says on "await open_marriage(member) that member doesn't have expected attribute id. i don't know what to do as i tried everything i can with my knowledge